So alone, and this room feels so cold.

So alone, and this room feels so cold.
No ones cares, not even me. Can’t quite explain why I’ve been feeling this way, just have. I just don’t feel like I’m to where I could have been in my life. I always wanted to be a scientist. Studying Meteorology, or Astronomy, or both. I have a thing for science. But, I seemed to have fucked up no matter which way I turned, can’t really say I’ve made anything of myself. Here I’ve been, out of work now for almost three years, and too damn scared to go and get back into the swing of things. Don’t ask me why I am afraid. I can’t really explain it. Guess getting fired from the last job I had kind of collapsed me. I loved that place like it was my second home, you know? I have never felt quite as comfortable at a job before, it wasn’t even like going to work. Then, in the grand tradition of things it gets fucked up by lousy corruption, just like all the good things in life do. I had fun, it was like the people that worked there were my second family…a very fucked up dysfunctional family, but a family none the less. Then because of a stupid insecure manager that lifted money out of my bank because I knew more than she did, I get fucked in the ass. Whatever. Guess I had it coming. I remember a few highlights of the job :

1: This one time, when I first started back, there was a trade show in the Hallway and in all the banquet rooms, so after it was all said and done, my co-worker at the time and I went up and down to all the booths and ripped all the candy that they had been stashing from underneath the displays off, stuffing our faces…

2: This other time, when it was snowing, and the general manager had gone to TN for some training, we all got stuck there overnight, and k104 had their party there that night, but it got snowed out…so me, the bar managers, and some desk and maintenance staff hung out all night getting bombed and bullshitting.

3: Oh baby. The Christmas party. THAT was some fun shit. The night started off sort of sucking, because I was dressed in this little skintight thing, of course I think I’m fat all the time, but everyone else thought I looked great. Including BOTH of the CHEFS….hmmm.

4: The Chefs. Oh lord, the Chefs.

5: Maintenance. But NOT Jack, Frank, or Double D.

6: Free drinks, all you can drink.

7: Front desk tall guy NJB.

8: Glen the security guard, the glassroom, and the road by the runway. If only CRB knew that it wasn’t him that I broke it in with.

I am such a slut.

Do I feel better, but at least now I’m reminiscing instead of fretting. Still want to watch my fucking movie, though. Assholes.