My Opinion Counts. No, really.

My Opinion Counts. No, really.This past Friday my husband was having spinal surgery, so of course I tried to be the supportive wife and hang out in the surgical waiting room for the good news...

It never came.

Or, I should say it came to me about three hours later. You see, I had my fourth grand mal and second in the last six months while waiting in a surgical lounge. I guess it's pretty good that it happend in the hospital, huh? I went status epilepticus and had seized for almost seven minutes. All of this, after running out of a New York State sponsored health plan because I made the mistake of getting married - which caused me me lost me insurance and I can't afford Keppra with our five month old son needing much of our pocket money.

I want to know some things. Does anyone else have problems with memory after seizures? Muscle aches that make you feel like you've been hit by a truck? I've never lost my bladder or bowels so I guess I'm lucky...this sucks. I have an infant son at home that I can't visit anyone with because I can't drive. I can't stand the fact that this had to show up, now. I'm tired of spacing out, jerking...I've had these problems for years and to be honest I'm scared to death that I'm going to be holding my son and some TONIC will cause me to drop him. Then the CLONIC will cause me to not be able to pick him up again once I wake up again, however many hours later that is and of course if I remember who I am or what I'm doing here in the first place.

I feel great the rest of the time. Happy in life otherwise, good marriage and supportive family. But, how do you get rid of the fear? How do you talk to others about this without sounding like your bellyaching or being too paranoid? Does anyone else feel sick about these things?

And, I would like to hear first time stories - if your lucky like me you had the cops pulling you out of your drivers seat while the EMTs are trying to help you asking what drugs you took? Are you drunk? Distraught? No, officer. Don't arrest me, I'm not bad. Just sick.